Six Months

Today, on the way home from work, I was pushed by a guy going up the stairs while I was going down the stairs to the subway. I pushed back hard enough for him to get the point that I am not one to be pushed but not hard enough to knock him down the stairs, though that is what I wanted to do.

In the six months (almost 7) that I have lived here the subways have forced me to kick someone, ask countless people to move, both politely and impolitely, and push many people off me. Usually it is not people that live here, but tourists. I don't understand how people more than likely from suburban towns are the ones that take the most liberty with others personal space. My guess is that they don't know what is appropriate. Let me help.

  1. Sitting over the bar so as almost to be sitting in my lap is not appropriate.
  2. Straddling my leg/legs for any reason is not appropriate.
  3. Doing, selling, taking inventory of your drugs near me is not appropriate (in all fairness, I am sure he was a local.)
  4. Staring at me for an entire trip from 125th Street to 14th Street on the 1 train is not appropriate.
  5. Eating near me, well, eating on the subway is not acceptable.

Some helpful hints for tourists out and about in the city and on the subway:
  1. Never blatantly read maps in the open. New Yorkers consult maps all the time. I carry a small map of the city/subway system. It is golden. Buy one. When I see people with a huge map unfolded I want to do 2 things: 1) Warn them that it is a banner saying "rob me!" and 2) Rob them.
  2. If you are lost and your small map isn't helping ask someone that looks like they work or are in a group of friendly people, preferably a family.
  3. Hold on to the handles, poles, and railings on the subways. Leaning on the poles so that no one else can hold on to it is not acceptable and I will ask you to move.
  4. Do not talk to people other than your family or friends and do so in a subtle manner. Strangers do not care where your stop is, where you are from or what is on your agenda for the day.
  5. As much as people say that the city is almost Disney World, you should probably not dress like you would if you were going to Disney World. Do not wear all your NYC lovin' gear all in one day. Also, the only tourist-y shirt that people who live here actually wear are the iconic "I Heart NY" tees.

To the guy that pushed me today: next time I'm pushing you down the stairs and kicking you at the bottom.

Next time the Six Month update continues...

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