Subway Conversations

Recently, the subway has been the happening place for me.

Last Sunday, on my commute home from work, I transfer to the G train. I choose the last car because it is the one closest to the stairs at the Metro-Grand Station. It is a popular car, because it is a popular station.

During my short G commute (four stops), I saw a gentleman checking his bags of rock and snorting cocaine. Cocaine is a hell of a drug, and he was vacuum-cleanering it up his nose right there is the open of the G Train.

Monday, for some reason the F train was running on whatever tracks it wanted to and was on the E line when I was going home, so I hopped it. Even though it was rather crowded, I got a nice place to stand. It went to the next stop and a woman decided she was going to push herself onto the train. Here is the conversation that erupted:

Small-In-Her-20s-Hispanic-Woman: Excuse me, there is no room for you on the train.

Slightly-Larger-And-Much-Older-White-Woman-Possibly-Polish-And-Going-To-Greenpoint: I'm getting on this train, make room for me.

SIH2HW: (Getting louder) THERE IS NO ROOM. What do you want me to do step on this woman (gestures to woman next to her).

SLAMOWWPPAGTG: (Pushing herself onto the crowded train) Make room for me.

SIH2HW: GET OFF OF ME. YOU ARE PUSHING ME INTO THIS WOMAN. I AM STEPPING ON HER. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE ON THE TRAIN.

Doors close and silence continues for a few seconds, then:

SIH2HW: DON'T TOUCH ME, MY BAG IS WHERE IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE. DON'T TOUCH ME. LOOK, I WILL GO OFF ON YOU. DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME, LADY. YOU ARE PUCHING ME INTO THIS WOMAN AND YOU ARE NOT EVEN SUPPOSE TO BE ON THIS TRAIN. YOU DON'T FIT. THIS IS NOT YOUR TRAIN.

After this, the excitement died down slightly and the train got to my stop and I got off. I hope that SIH2HW and SLAMOWWPPAGTG worked out their spatial differences.

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