The Inner Ring of the Seventh Circle

In Florida, there are no basements for a reason: they would flood. The houses and apartments of 16 million people would be floating on indoor pools.

In New York City, however, there are basements. Guess what? They flood.

Apparently, when a basement floods, appliances in said basement malfunction. This must have been what happened in the basement of my building as yesterday I discovered there was no hot water.

"We'll send someone over as soon as possible, today."
Said the lady at the property management place.

So, last night - no hot water.
This morning - no hot water.
This evening - no hot water.

Even though it appears that the hot water of the other tenants has been fixed, ours has not.

Having no hot water means no showers or cold showers. No showers can only go on for so long. I have been "European" or some people prefer "French" showering , but decided that I needed to shave and basically just clean myself, wholly. So, I took that task on tonight.

Tap water in New York City is some of the coldest, glacier-freezing water I have ever encountered. My bathroom is already one of the coldest rooms in the apartment and all white which gives it a colder feeling, too. I turned on the water and readied myself for the shower. When I peeled back the shower curtain and climbed inside, I made sure that the showerhead was pointing as far away from having contact with my body as possible. Little did I know I was standing in a desert of flaming sand where fire rains from the sky.

I shaved first, as this did not warrant a full commitment of getting wet. Shaving with cold water is kind of hard. The soap doesn't want to come off of the razor. I can feel the razor bumps developing as I type.

Afterward, I try my feet in the water. Cold.

I know, I'll wet my hair...squeeze out all the water...don't let it drip doooowwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnn my baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack....ugh...

Oh I have to do the rest of the body. I'll ease into it...lather up first with the shower poof.

Ahhh, that is cold...not so bad, though.

Dr. Bronner's Soaps lather well with very little water. That is what that freak made them for.

But now I have to rinse.

Again, use the shower poof...but it doesn't do the whole job. I have to ease into the stream...

OMG. OW. I am in pain. Get out. Pain. Pain. Pain....

Cold, cold, cold. My teeth start to chatter. I think I am developing hypothermia. I am going to die in here.

Finish rinsing, fast, please, just end this, it hurts so bad. Places on my body that I didn't think were suppose to ever experience such pain are screaming for me to get out of the water.

I am clean. I am sure of it. Turn off the water. Wipe away the tears (literally).

Towel off. Clothes on. Wrap myself in warm blankets.

In a perfect world, this problem would be taken care of tomorrow. In New York City, we will be lucky if this problem is taken care of on Monday.

I think I am going to boil water for a bath tomorrow.

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