Tentatio Rodent

Waiting to Derail has been struck by Terrorism once again. As many of you read in July, I was the victim of a suicide-biting cockroach. This time, the Terrorist is still on the loose and considered highly dangerous.

At 2:00 A.M. Thursday morning, I walked across the apartment from my room to the bathroom, opened the door and was assaulted by a mouse. The medium-sized rodent caused panic and disorder while trying to take me hostage. After the failed kidnap-attempt, the mouse fled the scene.

The suspect is believed to be Joselinda Weisenstein, a radical rodent who is a top officer in the Muris-haad. Weisenstein is a high ranking official, second only to the Muris-haad Commander, Ernesto Wolfowitz. Muris-haad has taken responsibility for the Plague and the downfall of Sandra Bullock’s career.

Several videos have been obtained by Al-Mousera Television detailing several Terror plots involving more kidnapping attempts and aiding in the destruction of more celebrity careers.

Please, if you see something, say something. Metro-Grand (the apartment) is enacting several Homeland Security measures to prevent further attacks, but we will need all eyes and ears for maximum security.

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