A Bad Day To Move

My Wednesday started at 5:00 AM in Lake City, FL. Woke up, got ready. My brother drove me, with his kids, along to the airport in Orlando.

Three Hours Away...

We arrived at Orlando International Airport around 9:00 AM and I checked my bags at curbside. The guy overlooked my overweight baggage and I tipped him a 5 for saving me like 80. I panicked when I couldn't find my drivers license and luckily I had packed my passport in my carry-on bag.

I proceeded through security and then to the gate. United flight 1552 departing for Dulles in Washington DC with a connecting flight to La Guardia at 2:35.

Delay #1 came. The plane is having mechanical difficulties and has not left DC.
Delay #2. No new information; the ticket agents are rather unhelpful.

Another United flight to Dulles comes in and leaves. Something is wrong there, don't you think?

2:30 PM comes around and the flight has finally been cancelled. The ticket agent says that names will be called for re-routing purposes. My name is called first. I feel like the luckiest man in the airport.

Ticket Agent: You are going to La Guardia?
Me: Yes.
Ticket Agent: (looking at the computer, and mostly to herself): No, we can't get you on a 2:50, here is one at 3:15. (Calls American) Do you have a seat on flight 1620? Yes? OK.

She gives me my new ticket-esque paper and sends me off to the American terminal. I ask about my bags. She says that I will have to make a claim with the American office at LGA when I arrive. No worries.

At the American Terminal I wait until the Ticket Agent arrives. They do and I approach to get my new boarding pass. The Ticket Agent asks why my flight was canceled and I reply: something about mechanical problems. To which she says: This flight may be delayed to.

"Well, as long as it shows up I will be happy."

Well, the plane was already there and time for boarding comes around and the flight is delayed to 5:30 PM. Apparantly bad weather in the Ohio Valley region has re-routed flights to the southeast.

Delay #2: 6:00pm
Delay #3: 6:30pm
Delay #4: 7:30pm
Delay #5: 8:15pm

We board at 8:15.

Delay #6: 9:00pm
Delay #7: 10:00pm

We begin to taxi at 10:15pm and take off. Arrival at LGA at 1:00am.

Baggage Claim at LGA is a sea of lost and delayed bags. I check Uniteds lot first. My bags are not there. I look around my American flights baggage carousol. Nothing. Then I go the the American office. The lady asks me to check the United sea again. So, I do, this time much more thoroughly. Nothing. I go back and proceed with my claim.

Leave: Taxi time. Long line. I am tired. Long, long line. At least an hour wait line. I am approached my one of the commando drivers. $49.00 to ride with some guys to Midtown and then to Bay Ridge. No. I get in line. I am approached again by the same guy. I cave.

I am staying with someone and keeping them awake every minute waiting up for me, so I take it.

4 gay men and an driver of western asian origin. The other 3 go to midtown and I get a nice driving tour of the city. Narrarated by me, in my head. Down 7th to Chinatown, across Canal to the Manhattan Bridge and in Brooklyn I am. The driver gets on the BQE and off to Bay Ridge we go.

I got to Rob's Apartment at 2:40AM. He went to bed, I took a shower and then retired myself.

Bags are not here yet. But I am. And I have an interview tomorrow...in jeans and a tshirt. God Bless NYC.

Top 10 List Weekend Redux

Top 10 List of Actors I Cannot Stand

1. Tom Cruise (you gave Katie Holmes the Herp)
2. Nicolas Cage (ConAir anyone?)
3. Keifer Sutherland (I thoroughly enjoy watching you get disfigured by Reese Witherspoon in Freeway).
4. Ethan Hawke (I tried to like you, but you write bad fiction.)
5. Hayden Christiansen (gay celebrity rumors usually excite me. but I am praying that the hets keep you).
6. Donald Sutherland (you spawned the cockroach crunch and are a little crunchy yourself)
7. Tom Hanks (with several exceptions, your acting ranks worse than my cats')
8. Alec Baldwin (like your character, Jimmy Swaggart, in Great Balls of Fire (1989) eventually did, you should repent for your sins)
9. Bad Actor
10. Haley Joel Osment (they milked every last drop of cuteness from you and forced you into mediocre voice character work hoping that you will recover from your adolescent awkwardness. It is sad, but so, so true.)

Witness Williamsburg

An apartment has cometh. Oh Grand, on Grand Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn. That's right! The birthplace of Jay-Z, Biggie Smalls, Jackie Gleason, Barbara Stanwyck and John Travolta will soon be the stomping grounds of me. All credit goes to Katie, my soon to be roommate. She found it on the second day she was looking and was the first to see it. Our move in date is July 1st.

"Your boy back in the building, Brooklyn we back on the map
Me and my beautiful beeeeeeeitch in the back of that 'Bach
I'm the realest that run it, I just happen to rap
I ain't gotta clap at 'em, niggaz scared of that black
I drop that +Black, Album+ then I back, out it
As the best rapper alive nigga ask about me
From Bricks to Billboards, from grams to Grammys
The O's to opposite, Orphan Annie
You gotta pardon Jay, for sellin out the Garden in a day
I'm like a young Marvin in his hey'
I'm a hustler homey, you a customer crony
Got some, dirt on my shoulder, could you brush it off for me?"

Now, the most important things in my life are selling my car and securing a job. If anyone knows of anything, hook a brotha up!

Top 10 List

Top 10 List of Actors I Cannot Stand

1. Tom Cruise (you are the worst actor on Earth)
2. Nicolas Cage (I just think you suck except in Raising Arizona)
3. Keifer Sutherland (you disgust me like the crunch from raw onions and Kit Kats making me think that I am eating roaches).
4. Ethan Hawke (I tried to like you, but you are Tom Cruise Jr.)
5. Hayden Christiansen (you are the reason that all three of the new Star Wars movies suck, even though you aren't in the first one)
6. Donald Sutherland
7. Stephen Baldwin
8. William Baldwin
9. Alec Baldwin (except for that SNL where he plays the gay guy on the "Inside the Actors Studio" segment)
10. Daniel Baldwin (I don't even know if he is an actor but ALL THE BALDWINS ARE DEAD)

I'm sure there are others but this is a Top 10 List, the Top 5 are pretty solid and the bottom 5 could be replaced with others I hold much more disdain for.

Hopping the Bay

Pensacola Bay is the body of water jutting in from the Gulf of Mexico that seperates Santa Rosa County from Escambia County. Milton is in Santa Rosa, Pensacola in Escambia.

Santa Rosa County is a "damp" county. This means that it is slightly wetter than a "dry" county but definitely not considered a "wet" county. Personally, I am used to "soaked" counties.

The bars and restaurants in Santa Rosa only serve beer and you can only purchase beer in the various stores and on Sundays, only after 2:00 PM (Central Time). Escambia has no alcohol restrictions, and therefore on the other side of the bay on US HWY 90 is a large package store which can commonly be seen at county line's with alcohol prohibitions on one side and none on the other.

The issue is hot topic fodder for the papers and is on the ballot frequently.

Personally, I didn't think dry, or damp counties for that matter, still existed. Alas, my mother up and moves to one.

There are political groups that have formed for each end of the spectrum.

The dry county people say it is a moral issue (read Christian)and that the number of cases of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, DUIs, and drunken accident fatalities. I say the people having deformed babies, bad driving recordsm and killing people while drunk is happening more because they all drive to another county, get drunk, and then drive back. The FAS babies are conceived because there is more chance for sex, on the way to and fro.

The wet county advocates say the county is losing tax revenue (read money) and that upscale restaurants are not moving to the area due to not being able to serve liquor. I say this comes down to convenience. When I want alcohol, I want to be able to go a few blocks and get it, package store or "upscale" restaurant. I don't want to be driving twenty minutes over a bay with a bridge that was recently taken out by Hurricane Ivan (it is now, partially, a temporary metal replacement) to get to Pensacola for my local Carrabba's or Olive Garden.

In a few weeks, I will be back in a city where I can buy liquor anytime I want and have as many deformed children as I can pop out (which is none, because I am a man - but I am sure if I had enough money [and alcohol] I could.

South Central

Last night, I drove 5 hours from Gainesville to Milton, Florida. For those of you who have never heard, it is near Pensacola, Florida. To further your geography lesson, please see a map of the United States. Locate Florida. Go to the panhandle. The Panhandle is the entire part holding Florida onto the rest of the country. See tip of the panhandle on the Gulf of Mexico coast that touches Alabama. Milton is in there somewhere.

It is the Central Time Zone here. I left Gainesville at 9:30pm and arrived here at 1:30am (2:30am for real people still in Eastern). The good part was that sleeping till 11 this morning only meant I slept til 10.

My sojourn here is step 3 of my move to New York City. Step 1 was graduate. Step 2 was pack (I'll spare you all those uncool details). Step 3: Move to my mother's (who moved here only 3 months ago)and sell my car.

As soon as my car is sold, I am buying a plane ticket and moving back to the Eastern Time Zone. See You Soon.