Modern Day Remake: The Sound of Music

We have come up with a great cast for our Modern Day Remake of the classic musical The Sound of Music that is blurs race, gender, and sexuality.

Captain von Trapp.......................Jodie Foster (in drag, hair slicked back, yet not hiding that she is a woman)
Maria von Trapp.........................Jon Pierce (vocalist from the band Elkland)
Liesl...................................Emma Watson
Friedrich...............................Dakota Fanning
Louisa..................................Raven Simone
Kurt....................................Cole Sprouse
Brigitta................................Dylan Sprouse (both from Disney’s “The Suite Life with Zack and Cody”)
Marta...................................unknown child
Gretl...................................unknown child
Rolfe...................................Claire Danes
The Baroness............................Johnny Depp (in drag and always with a flute of Champagne)
Max Detweiler...........................Natalie Portman (in drag, androgynous hair, trampy)
Mother Abbess...........................Catherine O’Hare
Sister Margaretta.......................Tracy Ullman
Sister Berthe...........................Ryan Philippe
Sister Sophia...........................Jessica Alba
Sister Bernice..........................Paris Hilton

Prayer, Because I Know You Read My Blog

As everyone in my life knows, I have been wanting to move to New York City since March 2004 and the plan has been that after graduation I would. So, graduation has come and gone and I am still in this terrible pit they pass off as a North Central Florida mecca of culture and shopping, Gainesville.

I have been job searching since mid-March and have now only begun to get responses from mediocre employers. 26K from an engineering firm in Manhattan! C'mon, people, how am I suppose to live on that in Manhattan when I couldn't live on that in South Florida before I moved to this pit.

In any case, I have opened up my search for a great entry level design job (or working of a non-profit, or in the arts, or executive/admin assistant, or in community development and renewal) to other great cities of our nation I could go back to where I came from: South Florida: Palm Beach or Broward, not-so-much Miami-Dade, but I am also looking in Atlanta and San Diego.

Pros and Cons

San Diego: Pro: I've never been to San Diego, but two friends from back home seperately said they had potential leads for me there. I hear it is nice, great weather, friendly people, etc. Con: It is clear across the country and I would be completely starting from scratch.

Atlanta: ATL, GA is a great southern city. It is very centrally convenient for my now spreadout family. My mom lives outside of Pensacola, FL. My brother's family are settling to Lake City (for the time being) and my sister's family is in Chattanooga, TN. (Just a brief side note: Tennessee is not on my docket). I have some wonderful friends in and around the city (my best, oldest and dearest friend, in fact). I also feel that tangible goals could be put in place here. Con: It is the biggest sprawling environment I have ever encountered in the United States

South Florida: It is where I am from. I am comfortable there. Anything I could possible want, I feel can be seen to fruition here. Those tangible goals are even more tangible here. I have some friends that have not (yet?) left and a great friend moving back. I have tons of professional/personal connections here. Con: Also sprawling, but I know where everything is and I love I-95.

New York City: It is the only place I have gone where I have felt comfortable from the time I stepped off the plane. It feels like home to me. Amazing friends are there or will be there. Great food, amazing urban spaces. Things happen in New York, and I feel like I could help make it happen. Cons: I don't see that I could create many tangible goals. I feel like I would just be "hanging out", especially with only 26K being thrown my way.

Where will I end up? Only God knows, now. Let's hope he fills me in soon.

A Sketchy Lifestyle Update

The other day, I came home to a rather quiet apartment. Usually, there is Sketchy the Turtle trying to get out of the aquarium and bubble noise and what not. Everything was gone. Sketchy was gone. The aquarium was gone. The table it sat on was gone. All of it. The next time I saw my roommate, I asked him what he did with Sketchy. He set him free!! FREE! In Lake Alice, the lake on campus. Oh, Sketchy, I hope you are having the time of your life frolicking with the other turtles in the lake. And if you become food for an alligator, then whatever time you had before then was worth it to the terrible life you led in the bowl.

May the Force be with you, Sketchy.

I Love Saturdays

Last Saturday, I went to the Erasure show at the House of Blues in Orlando. (About 1.5 to 2 hours aways, for those not in the know). The prior week before, I had been having tire trouble (i.e. a nail was in my tire and I kept having to fill it with air, finally taking it to be repaired.) I pick up Adam and we head to Orlando and get there in time to have dinner. After dinner, we walk out to the parking lot and my tire has half of the air in it of when we started in Gainesville. We drive to the Hess Gas Station in Downtown Disney and fill it with air and continue to the House of Blues where Adam and I meet up with Kristen and Angie.

Once we meet up, we decide to get drinks and get in line to wait for the doors to open. Once in, we get more drinks and get as close to the stage as possible and wait for the opening band to play. Elkland, the opening band, is a Killers-esque band from upstate NY. Pretty good. I liked their cover of the Cranberries "Salvation" and the lead singers' toy soldier-like movements. Also, the drummer was totally hot and looked like he would be really good in bed.

Elkland finishes and the wait begins for Erasure to take the stage. The house lights dim and the stage lights brighten and the music starts and the black curtain falls. Andy Bell is in all white with white wings, Vince Clark behind his keyboards in a snazzy suit, and 2 back-up "faeries."

They played everything you could want them to, including my two favorite songs "Blue Savannah" and "Always." It was an amazing show and everyone was signing along.

There was some drama on the floor, too with pushing and even a fight. AT AN ERASURE CONCERT! Security had to interview. There was more violence at this show than any of the angry-straight-boy summer festivals that I have been to.

When we left, I had to fill my tire with air, again, and we went to get some pizza at Pizza Joe's off of I Drive (which was really gross, I don't recommend it). We got back to Gainesville in the 2 o'clock hour singing B-52's, Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation, and The Immaculate Collection. We sped down Archer singing Like A Prayer, and I made the turn onto 13th to take Adam home. A few blocks down and lights are flashing and University Police Department is pulling me over. The cop comes over and very nicely starts talking, asking where we are coming from ("Oh" he says, when I said Orlando) and asks the "Do you know why I pulled you over" line. "I Guess I was speeding, Officer?" So, he takes my driver's license, registration, and (not so current) proof of insurance (which is current, I just didn't have the new proof in my car). So, I begin to pray to Madonna (and God) that he just gives me a warning because I was going 51 in a 35 and 49 in a 30 on Archer and 13th, respectively. The cop comes back (and I have to say, he was really nice the whole time) and says he is only giving me a warning for the speeding but a sitation for not carrying up-to-date proof of insurance.

Thank Madonna!

So, all I have to do is take my new insurance cards to the courthouse and pay $7.50!

Oh! and my tire was dead flat the next morning and I had to get a new one.

Modern Day Remake: Clue, The Movie

Here is our cast for a Modern Day Remake of "Clue, The Movie"

Mr. Boddy - Bill Pullman
Butler - Johnny Depp
Maid - Paris Hilton (as Paris Hilton)
Cook - Margaret Cho
Professor Plum - Dave Chapelle
Ms. White - Parker Posey
Ms. Scarlette - Kelly Ripa
Colonel Mustard - Tommy Lee Jones
Mr. Green - Jimmy Fallon
Mrs. Peacock - Ana Gasteyer
Police Officer - The Rock
Motorist - John Cusack
Singing Telegram - Lee Lee Sobieski

Top 10 List

Celebrity Hotties
1. Johnny Depp
2. Johnny Knoxville
3. Wes Bentley
4. Jimmy Fallon
5. Jake Gyllenhaal
6. Gina Gershon
7. Robert Downey Jr.
8. Kevin Spacey
9. Sean Biggerstaff
10. Paul Rudd